Seeking is fraught

The sky is a pastel blue now

Clear of all clouds 

You won't believe

It had just rained 

If you had not seen

The drizzle coming down

This is a festival month

Invoking the dark goddess

The procession of devotees

In yellow clothes and with milk pots

Pauses time and traffic 

The temple is not too far

But I have not entered it

For so many years now

There are no more prayers

Left in me, for seeking is fraught;

The devotion of the others

Is touching, the faith that keeps

Them going year after year even

After they saw the skies fall and

There was no one to stop the fall.

Rodent

What with the nightly visit

Of the rodent that has 

Found a way past our

Defences into the house

And the daylong heat of the sun

That cannot find a way out

Sleep is not at all guaranteed 

All the bad memories of all

The houses we have graced

With our honourable presence

Come tumbling out like toddlers

Allowed to play in the frontyard

All the lessons learnt so far

Will help us if life repeats itself

But it doesn't and revels in suspense

The youtube hack to repel a rat has

Been put into operation by the door

Garlic and onion must keep the one away

If it is orthodox, high-born and particular.

Authority

Power flows both ways

From the top to the bottom

And from the bottom when

The dead find their voice after

They die, in other voices which

Lose their fear after witnessing

A death as violent as that of the

One crucified because he spoke

Of a kingdom to those who knew 

Of no other than the mundane

And mistook his truth for treason,

Under the third degree the truth is

Mistaken for falsehood till the lies

That want to be heard are blurted,

When the blows fell they were not

Felt by anyone else like they were

When it was god who was beaten

By the river it was said he birthed.

evolution

if i cannot go back should i die 

and not shame my progenitors

how can a home i grew up in

overnight exile me leaving me 

at the mercy of strangers who 

turned me into an insect they

tortured at will because they 

could ---- how did this world 

so full of love turn into a dark 

cave of wild beasts for me ---

if i cannot go back where can 

i go but away hoping i do

not wake up in another hell 

where there is more torment ----

i didn't disappear like i thought

i would i only let others disappear

here there are no questions asked

and to be single is not a stigma

my students listen enraptured when i

talk of evolution and how the world

could not have been created by someone

where i live i see familiar trees that dance

when the wind blows and are happy to stay

quiet when the breeze keeps away and

everyone talks about the extreme weather

wishing the rain arrives right on cue like the

flowers do and once i saw a bier go by

leaving behind a trail of dead flowers

i thought that could well have been me

i am glad i had the will to leave without

looking back the light of my books lighting 

the way that others too have taken to liberty.

The cave

The caveman did not want

To be forgotten when he died

The paintings he left behind

In hollows of Yelagiri hills

Of the hunter-gatherer days

Show his heirs have not left

His ways behind or grown up

The weapons have changed in

Velocity and reach and effect

Facilitating mass murder from

Beyond the enemy's visual range

Leaders threatening to bomb the

Adversary back into the stone age

Hark back to their wild ancestors ---

Ten thousand years and still the same

The conflict-filled mind still in the cave.

Nowhen

When the mind finds nowhen

Between today and yesterday

Waiting for a tomorrow it still

Hopes will arrive somehow

The thought that nothing survives

The march of purposeful time

Cannot be thought away 

The tree that'll outlast me sways

In the rain-scented monsoon wind

All my troubles seem trivial when

The weather is as jubilant as now

The cries of excited children mock

The admonition of parents who

Remember only their last illness

After getting drenched like this.

Hot and humid

The rainclouds scatter with the winds

And the summer atrocities resume

The ice cream parlour is busy again

With children leading family marches

Into the shop that now closes later to

Host those who cannot sleep without

A little cup of butter-scotch or strawberry

As it is all barred for me even in extreme

Weather like this I have no craving for it

Having long shed my sweet tooth to limit

Blood sugar levels on doctor's orders ----

But give me a physician who prescribes 

Hill stations for heat wave conditions

And ice cream when it is hot and humid.

Waiting

Unfazed children measure

The hospital corridors 

With their feet and hearts

Find a sofa that swivels

And swivel till my head spins

The network is intermittent inside

So I get offline more than online

And soon learn to pass time

Without recourse to doomscrolling

I am back in my school standing

Outside the class for some reason

Counting the number of crows

On the mango tree and wondering

How they spend their long days

Besides making the water rise

With stones till they can drink it

Or losing stolen snacks to foxes

Which know where flattery works ---

At last my name is called and I go in

To know if I am better or worse.

Rain flowers

The red and orange petals

And the yellow flowers

Are spilt on the road

Like debris of dreams

I do not want to tread on

The wind shakes the tree

Cannot shake off a crow

Riding a limb like a swing

I ask myself if this is

A walk or tree walk

How can I pass up one

As if I am on a passing train

The summer has ended

And the monsoon is here

Not too soon I would say

Taking the sky back from

The sun too close to be yay ----

I look up at the rain clouds

Turning the blue canopy grey ---

I would not mind stopping

Under an awning just to watch

The white flowers turning gold

In the evening sun going home.

Own the sky

Imagine, tomorrow is

A flight of steps up,

One down is yesterday

Imagine, we can hail

A song and take a ride

Back to the alma mater

Where no candles go unlit

Imagine, we can take

A vacation to the past

Whenever we want to

And meet all the others

Returning there like us

Hoping to defer death,

On the terrace sometimes

We own the sky, the quiet

Suffuses our being

And the stars remind us

What we are made of.

Unheard

After the sparrows the kuyils

Too have left for somewhere

It is April and I have not heard

The unseen bird sing its song

Its absence is a silence that is

Felt when the rain clouds mass

On the sky and the sun goes quiet

I ask around and everyone tells me

We too have not heard the bird

This year but we cannot worry 

Over what we had and do not have 

Make do with what we still can have ---

The bird sings where it is needed

And its call for love is heeded

Stop

To stop is not to give up hope

To stop is to look at all the feet

Rushing past as if sure of where

They want to be going and when

I do not know if the destination is

Elsewhere and not nearer here

The tale of the two sons cannot

Be forgotten ---- the one who went

Out to circle the world learnt

The bitter lesson that the journey

He took was in the wrong direction

There is little to choose if nature

Chooses the paths, if the heart

Tells us where to go in which light

Let my feet find their way home

Back through the jungles of desire.

Summer showers

The rain forced us to take shelter 

Under a flyover, then we had to

Watch as it danced on the tar road

Like a flash mob causing the frenetic

To slow down and catch their breath,

The cars did not have to stop, kept

Going through the falling strings,

No two-wheelers and their pesky horns

Hot on their tails till they gave way;

The mind grew restless as the drops

Grew heavier and the minutes ticked

There was work to do and the showers

We thought would halt and let us leave

Thickened with more clouds from the sea

And we worried we would be held up 

Longer than we wanted and fretted over

The flooded routes we would have to take

We wished we could have been ambushed

Near a restaurant where we could have

Sat warm by the window with a view of 

The skies singing their summer song

And time saying wait, it won't take long.

Golden shower

The laburnum now wears sunshine

For flowers, and it is more flowers

Than leaves this time of year,

The shopkeeper looks askance at me

Stopping to admire a tree in finery

Placed as offering to the god of time

Every spring I eagerly wait to see

This single tree turn green to gold

Take the longer route to glance

At this wonder changing colour

Between the peepal and the golden cassia

One all leaf and no flower and the other 

Almost all flowers, it's not hard to choose,

The rarer one turns the sun's rays to rain.

A day to remember

Shocking white cranes 

Burst out of the river

Black with time's refuse

Turning left the vehicle

Is swallowed by traffic

Over the horns are heard

The sharp cries of parrots

Restless on raintrees

The rooftop restaurant

Has a view of the sky

Where kites float

In the streams of music

Playing in my heart

The afternoon is hard

To cross without a nap

When I wake up it's dusk

Yellow moon blue sky

Above the green canopy

Night is easier to pass

Dreams take me away

The lost find the lost.

Spring

I look at someone older than me

And tell myself I am not there yet

He shuffles along before me with

The air of a tortoise enjoying a walk

I imitate his slow gait and stumble

My feet are used to a different pace

And protest this momentum drop

Green shoots on the bare branches

Have appeared without fanfare

The torn old leaves have not all fallen 

It is like grandparents and grandchildren

Seen together, the leaving and the arriving

Spring comes to every tree and plant

Without any prompting, sans supplication

My winter is beautiful because it is spring.

Such a sea

The moonglade glitters across the sea

As if it is a golden path to eternity

The incessant waves sound like the mind

With its eternal chatter and entreaties

The harbour cranes loom in the distance

Huge fishing rods angling for prize fishes

This is the second flight heading out

Twinkling stars with a cargo of wishes

The sand under the feet slips away a little

But the cool waters take away so much

All the past that meant so much so long

Does not mean much when the sea is such.